In every relationship there usually comes a time where you start doubting your friend, patner. The reasons can be endless. The usual and the most basic/primary reason is that there is some form of a trust breach. Maybe your friend has lied to you about him/her like saying they are busy with some work and at the same moment you see them posting pictures on social networking sites. Maybe your patner has started talking more about a person of the opposite sex and that person becomes the main topic of discussion for the couple or they start hanging out with that person and seem to have more fun with him/her.
When such things happen we feel that the other person isnt giving the same importance we give them. We dont have the problem with the subject of the lie but what bothers us most is why the person lies and whether they trust you or no. Closer the person is to you, the more it hurts. But the question should be should it hurt you so much. Shouldn’t we have more trust on them? The people about whom we are talking about are those with whom we connect. We should trust that they will have a good reason for what they did. We can always confront them about it if it becomes too excessive. We should have faith in these people and not worry too much about it. Sure it is tough but we can work towards it.
On the other side of the coin, if we ever do this, we lie to the people we care. We usually do it for a good reason or that it is very trivial and means nothing to anyone. But we have to understand that people are smart and when we lie it leaves a trail. It is the computer age after all blue ticks, last seen etc. We shouldn’t lie to such people. Even if we do we should own up to those mistakes. Obviously they will be angry but they will understand your reasons. Still it is much better for you to own up than them figuring out you lied via other means.
Another reason is bringing up of a person in a conversation. The other person becomes such a hot topic in the conversations you start feeling jealous. What we dont consider is that this person connects with your patner/friend in unique way and that excites them and you are the person they want to share the excitement. Like anything new, we are most excited in the beginning but what matters is the “after” part. You have managed to keep the excitement going even in the “after” part. You cannot be replaced because if you can be then your relationship means nothing. If something similar were to happen to you, the yin to your yang would also be jealous. So maybe during that time, you could bring the other person less often and simultaneously show sweet gestures to your ‘yin’. This way you never end up making your friend/patner jealous or sad.
We are humans and it is our natural behaviour to save ourselves from pain. That is why we see the negatives and choose to be safe than sorry. It is difficult to take the leap of faith. But it is not impossible. Maybe we should take a leap of faith for the people we care and who knows it just might be the most important decision which saved your relationship.
Treasure is uncovered by the force of flowing water, and it is buried by the same currents
– Paulo Coelho