I fought with my best friend on Friendship day. I told him, he keeps me waiting on social networking sites. He replies sometimes in varying intervals. Like any normal person, he said that he should know that he replies to me whenever he can. He has office but still always wishes me morning and night. He told me not to wait for my replies anymore and that he will message when he has something to talk about and I messaged simultaneously that maybe a break is required. The following week was one of the worst I had.
With no one to talk to I fell into a dark pit of loneliness (Yes, he was the only person I used to talk daily, others were either busy with work or there wasn’t much scope of topics). The first/second day I hoped he will message me. Maybe he is also feeling the same way as me. But towards the end of it, I messaged and apologised for my behavoir. But even after that I still held back because I felt maybe he doesn’t see me as I see him as a friend. It ate me up inside completely. I kept revisiting past events. After the 3rd/4th day things seemed to go back to normal. But I still had that doubt in the back of my mind. I started taking small and routine things as a sign that he doesn’t understand what he means to me. “For the world you maybe a bot but for a bot you maybe a world” is a caption for Wall-E i read. I hoped that he would understand that. I kept hoping that I might get my original relation back.
With a similar incident that toon place just a year back with another friend I started doubting myself that maybe I am just ruining it myself. I again started thinking about what went wrong. I remembered the day of our fight and why would even I say such things. I realised that I wanted to talk to him the previous day but he said BRB and went away for the whole day. The two days I get to talk of which one day was now gone. I wanted to talk about various things to him that day. The one person who is the best thing of the day becomes busy the day i want to talk to him. So naturally i became pissed. Then I realised that it is wrong of me to do so.
That time another thought that had been in my mind since weeks came into the spotlight. “Are we promoting a society in which we think we are always right?” I keep reading posts on facebook and status by them “Be yourself” “Accept me as who I am if you can’t you can go somewhere else”. Are we promoting a society to never accept that they can be wrong and not the opposite person? Sometimes we are wrong and sometimes not but we should always look at it from both sides.
My mistake was that I judged my friend based on what I would do in his place. It was wrong as He cannot be me just like I cant be him. Also from a song lyrics “Everyone says goodbye in their own special way” I realised that everyone has their own special way of showing affection. My friend messaged me whenever he could and I couldn’t see that so maybe i deserved a bad week to remind me that he is out there making a difference by working just like my other friends and he cant always be there for me.