It is always the small things

We all do big things on the special days for the people we love. We make collages, videos, customised gifts. We think the gift is one of the greatest gestures of our love towards them. But it is not the only one. We often forget that even on other days we can do things which can appreciated by our loved ones. These small things make a lot of difference. You might just say something that the opposite person was looking for. They could feel like they are on cloud nine. The small gestures dont just stop at our family and besties. We miss little things with our classmates, strangers.

When you are meeting your friends. Everyone talks about the new things in their life. During that time if someone takes out their phone to check on something. It is rude to do so. It just shows that you are uninterested in the stories of your friends. Everyone perceives this action as a rude action. But we can forget that probably he is checking his phone regarding something that is important. Like probably he was going to get some important mail or he was checking on his other friend who is sick.

All of us have a friend who helps us academically. He shares his assignments, notes. He helps you understand some concepts even subjects at times. These people help you do better in your exams. We all respect such people. They help us achieve things which we think we cant achieve. Have we ever told them how awesome they are ? How much they really have helped us ? Some people do say it. But a majority dont. We just call such people with nicknames out of affection. It is good way to acknowledge what they do but a better way is to tell them about it. It would mean a whole lot more than a nickname. The people who help us dont ask for such things. They probably think what they do isnt so big but they should know it is a big thing.

Your best friends, these are the people with whom you have done everything. Sometimes just telling them what they mean to do will just brighten their day. You can even give them little things too like a small personalized gift or a flower. For your family, anything you do is less. But you always help your mom with her chores. Making a juice or milkshake for your parents is just as good. Even just saying you “I love you Mom/Dad” will be the best thing you can do for them.

Sometimes we are busy with our life. We have to study/work. We probably have something that is due. During that time one of our friends texts us. We would message like everything is fine and that we are free. But in our mind we are totally focused on our work. We cant be totally into the conversation. It might come off as your not interested. It may cause a crack in your friendship without you knowing there is one. Everytime you do it, the crack widens. You can just say “Busy Ttyl”. But you should always message back. If everytime you say you are busy, it is rude. We can take out 5/10 minutes to catch up with our friends. Just 10 minutes of undivided attention to them.

It is the little things that will always matter. Just a laugh at someone’s joke, saying their display picture or status is nice. Just a few lines appreciating them will be one of the greatest things for them.

Drawing & Rearranging

-Clever how you use this beast.-We do not use it. It is his generosity. This was a line in an animated show “Samurai Jack”. This line should get us thinking that we see so many people who get used by other people. Usually we assume the person to be naive and think he doesnt know that he is being used. But does the person know that he is being used and that he is ok with it ? Does he think that it is important that he helps others even at the expense of him ? If he so, He is so generous and of a pure heart. But is it morally correct of for him to be used ? To what extent ? Is he being too foolish letting others reap rewards of his efforts ? When do you know that generous has become stupid ? Where to draw the line??

This depends person to person. How we are brought up. How the world has been with us. How we have been with the world. One fundamental behavoir is that people always like to follow the easier path. It makes sense that we want to live an easy life. But at whose expense that is the question. Some of us can look beyond the petty issues of life and help others. Everyone likes such people. But by doing so are we making the masses dependant on those select few ? By helping everyone everytime, are the masses becoming robots who can just copy what is written without thinking or understanding it ? This is not the case everytime. We have to think and ask ourselves have I worked for this ? We need to draw lines on when to ask for help or when to give help. In some cases redraw those lines as years pass by.

We have someone in our life who just loves us too much. Sometimes it can feel that I cant possibly live upto those levels of love and commitment. You may also feel guilty about it. So shouldnt we try and do something equivalent for those people ? If such a case exists, then there must be case where we are the ones who give so much to a person but they dont show the same level of commitment. We can wait for them to show that same level of love. But if they dont isnt it stupid to wait for them ? Sometimes things we are chasing after mean nothing. We need to understand when to give up when to not. It again depends and varies person to person. Some people just give too quick while some hold on hoping things will change.

We should always think about such things. There are ways to work out these things. We can always subtlety hint people about it if we cant be open with them. Sometimes people catch such hints sometimes they dont so you tell them directly. Some people do change. Some people try to but cant. Some dont ever. We need to realise who fits where and decide whether you hold on or you let go.

These are some examples where we need to draw lines and often rearrange these lines. They can include from spending money to friends. These lines help us decide if it is logical to take a certain step, Whether it is better to spend more on comics or clothes. These lines might just prevent us from shattering for life.

The Generation Transition 

Generation Gap, a term all of us have heard. Each generation is different from its predecessor, morally & technologically. Technologically all of us can agree it is a good thing. But morally, we cannot say. Morale has no simple right or wrong. There are too often grey areas.

What is right and wrong has changed over time with generations. In America, many great doctors and presidents had believed that black people are below them. They were test subjects. In another country, there used to be slave markets next to markets. In India, there were the untouchables and various rituals like Sati, Animal Sacrifice. For the current generations, all these things are just down right stupid. We wonder how were these things allowed ? Did not these people have humanity ? What we fail to understand is that this is what people were taught back then. This was a common teaching. We will also have such teachings that we feel are alright but actually arent. Like Pedophilia is considered as a crime eventhough it is a mental disease. It involves being sexually attracted to children and not committing sexual activities with them. Initially homosexuality was considered a crime but not anymore.

This begs the question are we better than predecessors or successors ? We certainly arent. We experiment on animals for drugs, medicines and various chemicals. We cut down trees for land. The corruption has just aggravated all this. Suppose One day I come to know that there is treasure inside the halls of my house. To find the treasure I burn my house down. This sounds so stupid yet this is what we are doing. With corruption I am basically destroying the very home I live in.

Our generation seems to have a less tolerance to life as compared to our parents or grandparents. Suddenly there is an increase in cases related to depression, divorce, suicides, substance abuse. Maybe it always existed on such a large scale but this is an issue. Students get depressed over bad grades and in extreme cases commit suicide. People marry withing 6 months of meeting each other. After a year or so they take divorces as they feel they are living with another person. It may sound that their decision of marriage was premature. But before there were arranged marriages and in some cases both of them met on the day of marriage. If things did not work, they would strive to work things out. Both the families tried to reconcile the marriage. It seems people have stopped trying. It is either this side or that. Dating is casual and break ups common. Who knows our children might be more eccentric.

With every generation our morales, rights & wrongs change. Each has their good and bad sides. We can only strive to be our best version.

Understandings-Misunderstandings

When was the last time we tried understanding a stranger, our classmates, our friends ? People reply “We know our friends pretty well”. All of us have this ability to judge people in an instant. Just by how they look, talk, walk. This is not a bad thing. This very thing of judging things has kept us alive for million of years. But now that we are more evolved we can try looking beyond the outer shells of the people.

We just have these nicknames for our classmates and friends. The nicknames can be affectionate but alot of times they can be hurtful. We just say it out of affection and as a prank. We never realize that the opposite person might not like or is getting hurt as your continuously calling him/her something they feel isnt who they are. Nerd, Miser, Gossipers, Arrogant these names are different from those based on physical appearances. Those based on the body are just down right mean and cheap. But the ones based on how we act around people is not totally rude. It is who we are. But people do not look beyond this part. All they say “He is a miser, he wont spend even this much”. Their words carry judgement and not that understanding why they are who they are. Maybe “the miser” had financial issues as a child or still has. “The nerd” likes to learn new things. “The arrogant” maybe feels your a jerk for doing something,unknowingly, that hurt them.

All these people have a life beyond the classrooms. It is just that we are unaware about it. All these people have best friends. So there must be more to them than what meets our eyes. It is not important for us to know what it is but just that there is something more to them. “The arrogant” might just be the most helpful person. But we wouldnt see it because we cant see beyond that one bad situation. All of us are defined by a certain quality by our friends, classmates. It may not be our best quality but certainly a part of us.

We can just try showing the world that there is more than just an “oversmart” guy. People might say “People should accept you for who you are if they cant it is their problem”. But many of us dont know the other person at all. We just know a few parts of him/her. Maybe we should show the world who we are. Obviously if I only show my arrogant side, no one will like me. The world should be shown the whole me. If I dont then, I cant say the world is immature or that I am too unique for this world.

Next time we call someone by an adjective let us just remember that each one of us is beautiful with some qualities dominant over the others. If we show how vibrant and beautiful people we really are, everyone will accept us for who we are.  

What is the Ideal Life ?

When we ask someone what they want to do in their life ? What their ideal life is like. The most common part of their answers is a life involving where we are surrounded by friends and family, doing something that we love. There will always be variations from person to person. If someone had financial problems in his childhood, his ideal life will include having money and lots of it.

But nowadays teenagers answer it as to roam the world, play music, paint, play videogames. People say things to their friends like “Let’s leave all this behind & go on an adventure”. Their friends reply “Yeah, let’s do it”. Obviously both of them are joking. We all know we cant just leave to go amd roam places. If your best friend asks you “Hey let’s leave tomorrow for a trip”. Your first reaction will be sure let us go until you realize it is not a joke. Then you think and you realize how insane it is.

Our ideal life is a life where we are free. Where we can do whatever we want, where we are not constrained. Have we ever thought why saying yes and leaving behind everything is difficult. There are many reasons. The main being financial and uncertainty. Every ideal life needs money. You cant go for an adventure or a trip if you have no money. Even eating or playing games all require money. So does that mean money is an integral part of our life ? It is but not only part. Friends, Family, Food, Work do matter also.

Our ideal lives are everything we want to do in our lives. For people who say “Paisa hato ka mael hain”. These people should be asked to donate everything they have and live a life afterwards. We need materialistic things for our ideal lives. It is an ugly truth but a truth none the less.

Social Media – A Way Not to Fade Away

Social Media ranges from Facebook,Twitter to Youtube,Vine. I just happen to be from the generation who were introduced to Facebook in their early teens while Whatsapp in our 18’s. I look at myself right now on what I wish to post on the social media apps and I realize how much thought i put into posting something.

What do we do on social media ? On Facebook we post various pictures and messages showing our ideal and perfect lives. Snapchat involving live photos and videos involves the same thing. Vine and Youtube, we upload videos which offer something different or new. Gaming channels, Funny videos, Challenges (the new phenomenon everyone has to do). I personally uploaded Ed Sheeran Music Concert videos so that I could upload something to my channel.

I usually measure how good I am by viewing the likes, number of views. It gives me a sense of accomplishment if I get a certain amount of likes. On Whatsapp I always try to find a display picture and a corresponding status for it.

We try to put some twist into these posts/vines/snaps. Some caption involving a quote or something funny or something meaningful. We believe it will enhance our posts and make it standout in the news feed, not consciously at times.  

Recently all this has got me thinking. Why do We do this ?  We post images to show how nice our lives are. Maybe it is just that we need a nod from the society that we have perfect lives. We stand out in the crowd by these things. We like the attention we get. With an increase in social sites, human interaction has lessened. Whatsapp cant make up for our personalities. In the end we dont want to fade away in the crowd. We want to be seen. We want to leave something in the lives of people.

What we fear the most is fading away. We want our lives to matter. The film “A Beautiful Mind” shows us how John Nash wanted to do something original so that he could matter. We know that social media leaves a permanent mark. Social media wont vanish. For people from my generation, now facebook is a very embarassing place thanks to stalking done by our friends. In our early teens we posted everything about our lives, feelings on facebook. Maybe it was a vent for us or to show our friends what our lives are. With our unique and witty posts we will always remain. Even this blog is a way of immortalizing myself on the World Wide Web. Some of us accept this fact and try to change. You stop thinking about the number of likes and just post because we want to save this memory somewhere. Always ask yourself why are you posting it. If it is for the likes,maybe we need to change ourselves a lil.